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First Blog Ever Thick Skin

First Blog Ever Thick Skin

Ive been wanting to create a blog about pole dance for a long time now, but Ive been so busy with training and the studio that Ive been putting it off. But now its the new year, and so no more excuses. Blog time.

The first thing I want to write about is: Developing A Thick Skin. And Im not talking about callouses (although I could - and I know we all have them - and not just on our hands... personally I think the back of the left knee is the worst place to have that calloused elephant skin ugghh). But back to the point. Developing a thick skin is something that all performers have to put a little effort into, sooner or later. As a dancer and a performer, you put everything into your performances. All your heart, emotion and energy. The thrill you get from a wildly applauding and appreciative audience is like nourishment for your soul - and part of the reason why performing is so addictive.

The flip side is of course the fact that not everybody will go wild for your performances. Some people may be left feeling nonplussed, and some may even go out of their way to let you know how much they disliked it. And lets not forget that although pole dance has come a long way in recent times and become more acceptable in polite society, its still a fringe activity (part of the appeal, right?). Watching a pole performance can be very confronting for some people, especially if they dont feel comfortable with the sexual element of a pole performance.

I recently did a solo and a doubles performance with Matty Shields, my dance partner, in Dubbo at a festival. It was a family affair, and so I made sure to keep my show strictly G-rated and more acrobatic/circus style. After the show, we had kids asking us for our autographs (well, to be honest - they were asking Matty, after all, hes the Australias Got Talent star - they only asked me because I was standing next to him!). A whole bunch of people approached us to tell us how awesome they thought the show was, and how surprised they were to learn that pole was so acrobatic and strength-based. All this positive feedback made us really happy, until I found out that after the show a couple of women had complained that my performance was inappropriate and shouldnt have been allowed. No one complained about Mattys performance. Double standard, maybe?

Similarly, a couple of friends of mine were recently very upset to find some extremely derogatory comments made about one of their doubles performances on Facebook. Now, most people understand that a performance is a performance, and that just because you dress up like a pirate or a monkey onstage doesnt mean that in real life you carry on like a pirate or a monkey. But people dont always get that when it comes to a sexy pole performance. To be clear - there was nothing vulgar or dirty about their doubles performance. It was an impressive doubles performance that saw them place in the competition. But someone posted on the video that it was "slutty". Pretty harsh, and very uncalled for.

All the more reason to retreat into our happy, loving, pole community, right? Maybe not. Ive noticed over the years that pole dancers are becoming more critical of each other. But I dont necessarily see criticism as a bad thing in itself. As more styles of pole dance develop, people will have different views on what they like and what they dont like. Thats fine. So long as people take care to express their views in a way that wont make the pole dancer in question want to cry and hang up her stilettos for good.

But you cant control what people say or think. And you cant please everyone. And nor should you try to. Think of your favourite pole dancer - the one from whom you draw inspiration and motivation. The one who sends your heart aflutter whenever she posts a new video. I bet you can name at least one or two of your pole friends who dont like her style at all. But that doesnt change the fact that you think shes amazing. Or the fact that she is amazing.

Which is where the Thick Skin comes in. Its completely normal that not everyone will like what you do. As the pole movement gains momentum, and new skills are created, its going to get harder and harder to impress people. People will become more discerning, and competitive. Sometimes, people will comment on other peoples style of dance as a way of defining their own style. An example of this is a traditional "sexy" pole dancer saying she doesnt like contemporary pole, or a former ballerina saying she hates body rolls and hair flicks. What theyre really saying is that theyve adopted a particular style as their favourite way to pole dance, to the exclusion of other styles. Thats ok too - theres room enough in the pole world for many different ways of pole dancing, and its quite exciting to see new styles develop and change.

So: whenever you cop an insult or a bit of negativity, just try to suck it up and remember all the gasps and smiles that youve drawn from your audience in the past - even if your only audience is your cat or your mum ;-). Dont let a snide comment or backhanded compliment ruin your passion for the pole. If youre like me, pole means way too much for you to let yourself be put off by anything.

Remember that what we do as pole dancers is exceptional. Theres not many people you pass in the street who can lift their entire body weight over their head and hang from one leg. So keep at it. Shrug off the useless negativity, or if you can, take valid criticism constructively and learn from it. And surround yourself with pole dancers you respect and admire, because theres loads of them around. At the end of the day, one thing we pole dancers all have in common is that we are a pretty amazing bunch, in my view :-)

Shimmy xx

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